Marriage is what every adolescent look forward to. They dream about it and make every possible effort to attract the opposite sex. Their dressing is to gain the approval of the opposite sex. Some who are determined and desperate will accept whosoever comes their way not minding if the person has character or not. It is expedient to note that marriage is a complex institution that requires counsel and advice before one goes into it. This is what the church believes and practices. The law has it in Nigeria that whosoever will conduct a marriage service must as a matterof priority organize sessions of counseling for the intending couple.
“Marriage is a way of life that all should honour; and it must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly or selfishly but reverently, responsibly and after serious thought” (Church of Nigeria Anglican Communion Book of Common Prayer 2007 pg 210). The Church of Nigeria Anglican Communion Book of Common Prayer 2007 pg 211 also has it that “marriage should not be entered into unadvisedly or lightly; but reverently, soberly and with high purpose in the knowledge that enduring love is both man’s greatest and God’s most precious gift”. It is same BCP 2007 pg 211 that opined that, “Marriage is a state which embodies all the warm and precious values which grows from human companionship.”
As a marriage counselor, young people especially ladies come to me on regular basis to know how they can make the right choice. This prompted my work on part 2 of Key to Blissful Marriage. Marriage should not just be entered into without a friendship. The best way to having a successful marriage is to befriend someone to know more about him/her before you accept that person’s hand in marriage. I see it as awkward and great danger bursting into marriage with a man you have just known for some few weeks. In befriending someone before you accept his proposal will give opportunity to assess his character.
Character outside love is what makes
It is proper to note here that what mars most marriages is insincerity and not being trustworthy which is summed up in lack of character. It is expected that during friendship and courtship, someone should know if the friend or intending spouse is sincere or not. He/she should know if the character is good enough. You should tell how open he/she is to you. If he/she is not open to you and you finally settle down in marriage with same, you cannot vouch for him/her. This is very important because if anything happens to your spouse tomorrow, you will be the first to be held responsible.
Love they say is blind but I have a different opinion to that. Love is never blind. Any love that claims blindness will end in trouble. If you love someone and desire to spend the rest of your life, you should consider the character of the person. The character is the personality and this is the only guarantee to blissful marriage. Many marriages in the Western World and United States of America have ended in divorce because most of them did not consider character. Money and wealth is not everything. They can buy you worldly things but can never buy you happiness, peace and bliss in marriage. It therefore matters that the upcoming generation should be mindful of who they settle down in marriage with. Let your priority in choosing be Love and Character.